Letter from a new Mom to a new Dad

July 29, 2023

Dear [Dad's Name],

I hope this letter finds you well. As you know, we welcomed our precious bundle of joy into the world recently, and I wanted to take a moment to share my birth experience and some of the physical and emotional changes I am experiencing during the postpartum period.

At first, I was a bit nervous about labor and delivery. But with your support and the guidance of our amazing birth team, I felt more confident and ready to face whatever came my way. I went through various stages of labor, from early contractions to active labor, and then finally to pushing. There were some challenges along the way. It was super intense, I experienced pain and discomfort, and I needed some assistance to deliver our baby, but I felt like I was in a good place to manage it.

And then, after hours of hard work, our baby was finally here. I'll never forget the rush of emotion I felt when I first heard his/her cry and saw his/her little face. It was the most incredible moment of my life, and I'm so grateful that you were by my side to share it with me.

Physically, my body has been through a lot. After carrying our baby for nine months and delivering him/her, it's no surprise that I'm feeling worn out and sore. I have been experiencing pain, especially around my abdomen and perineum, which is common after childbirth. I'm also experiencing some postpartum bleeding, which can last for several weeks after giving birth. This is my body's way of shedding the uterine lining and returning to its pre-pregnancy state. I'm using special pads and taking good care of myself to make sure that I don't get an infection.

One of the most noticeable changes in my body is that my breasts are larger and more tender than usual. This is because my body is producing milk to feed our baby 10- 12 times/day. At times, my breasts can feel sore or engorged, which can be very uncomfortable. Another thing I have noticed is that my nipples are more sensitive than usual. They can feel sore or even chapped from breastfeeding, and I am being very careful to take good care of them. But sometimes, the pain is so intense that I feel scared to breastfeed. I am working with a Lactation Consultant to make sure I have all the support to feed our baby, which is best for the baby and me.

Feeding our baby can be a wonderful and rewarding experience, but it can also be challenging at times. I'm doing my best to make sure that our little one is getting enough milk, but I could use your help and support in a few ways.

First and foremost, I would appreciate it if you could help me with the logistics of breastfeeding/pumping/bottle feeding. This might mean helping me position our baby properly, or adjusting pillows and blankets to make sure that we're both comfortable. Sometimes, I need an extra set of hands to help me get situated, especially when I'm feeling tired or overwhelmed.

I would also appreciate your help with things like making bottles to feed our baby, cleaning breast pumps, bottle parts and burping and diaper changes. If you could help me out by taking care of these other tasks, it would give me a little bit of a break and help me recharge. Also, tasks like doing laundry, washing dishes, and cooking meals are difficult for me right now, so taking care of these would assist in my recovery and rest.

As you can imagine, taking care of a newborn baby can be incredibly tiring. Our little one needs to be fed, changed, and comforted around the clock, which means that I'm not able to get as much sleep as I would like. I'm feeling pretty exhausted most of the time, and it can be difficult to function at my best when I'm running on so little sleep. I've also noticed that I've been feeling a lot hungrier than usual, and I'm craving all kinds of foods. Sometimes, I feel like I just can't get enough to eat. I'm doing my best to make healthy food choices and to stay hydrated, but I also need to make sure that I'm getting enough calories to keep up with the demands of breastfeeding and caring for our baby.

I would appreciate your support in this area. If you see me getting hungry or feeling run down, please remind me to eat something and make sure that there are healthy snacks and meals available for me to eat. I'm doing my best to take care of myself, but sometimes I need a little help and encouragement.

Emotionally, I've been feeling a wide range of emotions. On one hand, I'm so happy and in love with our little one, and it's amazing to see you become a dad. But on the other hand, I'm also feeling a bit overwhelmed and anxious. I worry about whether I'm doing everything right, and whether our baby is healthy and happy. I have been experiencing a range of feelings, from joy and love for our new baby to anxiety and worry about being a good mom. Sometimes, I even feel sad or weepy for no apparent reason.

These are all common symptoms of postpartum mood changes, and I want you to know that it's not your fault or anything you've done wrong. I'm just going through a lot of hormonal and physical changes, and it can be overwhelming at times.

Did you know that during pregnancy, a woman's body produces high levels of estrogen and progesterone, which help to support the growth and development of the baby. However, after the baby is born, these hormone levels rapidly drop, which can lead to a range of physical and emotional changes.

One of the most significant hormonal changes after giving birth is a sharp drop in estrogen and progesterone levels. This can cause a number of physical symptoms, such as vaginal dryness, hot flashes, night sweats, and fatigue. New moms may also experience mood swings, irritability, and difficulty sleeping as a result of these hormonal fluctuations. In addition to these changes, the body also produces high levels of the hormone prolactin after giving birth. Prolactin helps to stimulate milk production, but it can also lead to feelings of emotional sensitivity and overwhelm.

I'm trying my best to take care of myself, both physically and emotionally. I'm getting as much rest as possible, eating healthy foods, and talking to my doctor about any concerns I have. I'm also leaning on you for support and comfort, and I appreciate all that you've done to help me through this time.

One of the biggest changes I'm going through is a shift in my social life. I'm not able to go out and do things like I used to, and I'm not able to see my friends as often as I would like. It's difficult to make plans or commit to things when I don't know how our baby will be feeling or if I'll be able to get enough rest. Being a new mom can be an incredibly isolating experience. Even though we're both here to take care of our little one, it can feel like a very solitary experience. I'm spending a lot of time at home, and I'm not able to get out and do things like I used to.

I also feel like my priorities have shifted. I'm focusing a lot more on taking care of our baby and ensuring that he/she has everything he/she needs. This means that I'm not able to be as social or spontaneous as I used to be.

I know that this is a common experience for new moms, and I'm doing my best to take care of myself. I am making sure to get out of the house and see people when I can, even if it's just for a short visit or a phone call. I am also seeking out support from other new moms online or through local support groups.

I know that these changes can be difficult for you to understand, especially since you're not experiencing them firsthand. But I hope that by sharing my thoughts and feelings with you, you can offer me the support and understanding I need during this time. Your love and encouragement means everything to me, and I know that with your help, we'll get through this postpartum period together.

Thank you for being an amazing partner and dad to our little one.


[Your Name]