Key Questions for Doulas to Ask Prospective Clients & Red Flags to Be Aware Of

August 8, 2023

Doulas play a unique role, acting as emotional, physical, and educational support for expecting parents. When doulas meet potential clients, it's important for them to gather as much information as possible to ensure they can provide the best care and support. Here are some questions that doulas might consider asking:

Introduction & Background:

  1. Can you tell me a little about yourself and your family?
  2. How did you hear about my services?
  3. What made you consider hiring a doula?

Pregnancy & Health:

  1. How has your pregnancy been so far? Any complications or concerns?
  2. Do you have any pre-existing health conditions that might affect childbirth or postpartum?
  3. Who is your healthcare provider, and where do you plan to give birth?

Birth Preferences & Expectations:

  1. Have you thought about a birth plan? What are some key elements you'd like to include?
  2. How do you feel about medical interventions, such as pain relief or induction?
  3. Are there cultural or religious practices that you'd like to incorporate into your birth experience?

Previous Birth Experiences (if applicable):

  1. Can you share your previous birth experiences with me?
  2. Were there aspects of your previous births that you would like to avoid or replicate this time around?


  1. What are your plans for the postpartum period? (e.g., breastfeeding, baby care, recovery)
  2. Do you anticipate needing support during the postpartum period, and if so, what kind?

Support System:

  1. Who else will be present during the birth (partner, family, friends)?
  2. How do you envision the role of your support people versus the role of your doula?

Concerns & Fears:

  1. Are there specific aspects of childbirth or postpartum that you're nervous or uncertain about?
  2. How do you generally cope with pain or stress?

Preferences in Doula Care:

  1. Are there specific things you're looking for in a doula?
  2. How involved would you like me to be during prenatal visits, labor, birth, and postpartum?

Logistics & Practicalities:

  1. What's your expected due date?
  2. Do you have any plans or events close to your due date that I should be aware of?
  3. How would you like to communicate (phone, text, email)?

Final Thoughts:

  1. Are there any particular resources or information you're looking for (classes, books, etc.)?
  2. Do you have any questions for me about my experience, training, or approach as a doula?

It's important to remember that these meetings are as much for the doula to understand the client as they are for the client to understand and feel comfortable with the doula. It should be an open dialogue where both parties feel free to share and ask questions.

As Doulas foster a close relationship with their clients, it's vital for them to notice any potential red flags during interviews. Here are some red flags doulas might watch out for:

  1. Unrealistic Expectations: If a potential client seems to have unrealistic expectations of what a doula can do, such as guaranteeing a particular birth outcome, this could be a cause for concern.
  2. Lack of Respect: Disrespectful behavior, including dismissive attitudes, interrupting, or not valuing the doula's time (like frequently rescheduling or being significantly late without notice), can indicate potential future problems.
  3. Reluctance to Share Medical History: A client who isn't forthcoming about health issues or pregnancy complications might not be a good fit, as doulas need this information to provide appropriate support.
  4. Mismatched Philosophies: If a client's birth or parenting philosophy starkly contrasts with the doula's approach or comfort zone, it might be challenging to provide support effectively.
  5. Overstepping Boundaries: Clients who expect tasks outside of a doula's scope, like medical procedures or advice, can be a red flag. Doulas are not medical professionals.
  6. Financial Inconsistencies: Clients who avoid discussions about payment, resist signing a contract, or have a history of not paying service providers may present challenges.
  7. Lack of Partner Support: If a partner is openly unsupportive of hiring a doula or the birth plan, it might indicate potential challenges during labor and delivery.
  8. Communication Barriers: If a client is consistently challenging to reach, doesn't communicate well, or avoids answering questions, it can hinder the doula's ability to provide proper support.
  9. Intuition and Gut Feelings: If something feels "off" or uncomfortable during an interview, even if you can't pinpoint why, it's crucial to trust your intuition.
  10. Over-dependence: While doulas provide invaluable support, it's essential that clients also have other resources and support systems. A client who seems overly dependent on the doula might require more than the doula can provide.
  11. Disinterest in Contracts: A potential client who doesn't want to sign a contract or dismisses its importance might not respect boundaries later on.
  12. Privacy Concerns: If a client is not willing to allow the doula any privacy (e.g., constant phone calls at odd hours without emergencies) or doesn't respect professional boundaries, this is a concern.

When noticing red flags, it's crucial for doulas to communicate concerns and consider whether they can still work effectively with the client. If not, a referral to another doula or resource might be the best approach.

Remember, for doulas, ensuring a good fit with their clients is paramount. This alignment facilitates a relationship built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect, which are foundational for the intimate and transformative experience of childbirth. When both the doula and client share congruent expectations and philosophies, it optimizes the support provided during prenatal, labor, and postpartum stages. A harmonious fit ensures that the mother feels empowered, heard, and comforted, while the doula can operate within her expertise and boundaries, leading to positive birth experiences for all involved.

At, we’re here to transform the motherhood narrative and make this process of finding support so much easier on you. We have a carefully curated, easy-to-use, and customizable platform where you can search by the type of service you need, location, and availability. You can easily sign up to review profiles of Lactation Consultants, Doulas, Mother’s helpers, and other services. Let us help you embrace motherhood with a full heart.

Disclaimer: This blog's content is provided for informational purposes only, and does not intend to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the area for your particular needs and circumstances prior to making any professional, legal, medical and financial or tax-related decisions.